Not all who wander are lost

What's forever for

2009-12-27T21:50:00.000-05:00

I Wonder

2009-12-15T18:17:00.001-05:00

John Berry

2009-12-15T14:56:00.002-05:00

I been listening to this guy a lot lately. He's not a humongous country star or anything like that but he should be in my opinion. I just love his voice.

Don't say it if you don't mean it

2009-11-06T21:54:00.004-05:00

I'm sitting here watching the Nascar truck race on Speed and just got off the phone with Jay after having our first big argument. He gone to South Carolina for the weekend to visit his mom who he hadn't seen in a while. I have to work tomorrow or I would have went and if I had then the fight wouldn't have happened.

The fights totally my fault and I know it but still its hard to do anything about it. The whole thing is about me not saying those 3 little words, I love you when its said to me either over the phone or while he's going out the door. I knew it would eventually lead to a fight just didn't know when. At first he would just play it off and laugh about it when I would always say me too, whenever he would say it. Its funny cause its weird for me to even type the words,how crazy is that.

Anyways it got to the point where he was just saying I like you at the end of a phone call as a way to point out that he wasn't gonna say it if I wasn't going to,which didn't bother me but I did notice but never said anything. Tonight he said the words and I did my usual reply, me too. Then he says,"Look don't say it if you don't mean it" and then it was silent for like 5 seconds which seemed like a whole minute and when I didn't say anything he hung up. Must have been the shortest fight in the history of phone fights lol.

I shouldn't laugh about it cause it is a serious issue I have but I reckon its better than crying about it, or maybe it would be better to cry over it,who knows. The words were never said when I was younger in my family So me playing half ass shrink I would say that's where the whole thing stems from.

I'll have the problem the rest of my life if I don't do something about it and it will probably lead to ever relationship I have with a guy ending up with him just leaving. Now that I think back that may be the reason my relationship with Ryan ended the way it did, I'll have to do a lot more thinking on that. So will I call and say the words to Jay, I doubt it. I'm one hard headed son of a bitch. He's originally from South Carolina so maybe he had it planned to get in a phone fight with me while he was home and just stay there.

Cool Quote

2009-10-28T10:30:00.002-04:00

I seen this quote on a sign yesterday and thought it was really cool. I tried looking up who said it but seems to be by unknown, he says a lot of cool stuff

Yesterday is History,Tomorrow a Mystery,Today is a Gift,Thats why it's called the Present

Second Chance

2009-10-24T21:36:00.001-04:00

Old is better

2009-10-22T17:22:00.002-04:00

In case anybody's wondering about my profile pic and why I changed it. I think most people know I hate pics of myself. I use to think I was to thin,back when that pic was taken I was 17 and even back then hated pics of me. Pics of me are kinda rare and my sister sent that pic along with a few other old ones to me the other day, Damn Ive changed now they got me thinking I'm to fat. I can't believe I'm saying this but I like the old me a whole lot better.

My New Boo Boo

2009-10-22T12:16:00.003-04:00

Hey I realized after I made my last post that I had mentioned having me a boyfriend but didn't even tell y'all his name, crazy me. His name if anybody was curious is Jayson but everybody just calls him Jay.

So about my boo boo I mentioned in my post, it hurt like hell when it happened and still sore like I been whipped with a belt.

It happened Tuesday I didn't have any classes and I was waiting at a house that were working on for a bunch of drywall to be delivered that I to sign for. Anyways truck pulls up from the place who's name I wont mention but the initials are H.D. and main color is orange. I didn't notice but the load of drywall wasn't exactly on the truck straight and I had my back turned, strap holding the load down popped and smacked me right on the ass. It left a mark even through my jeans and is really sore.

Even though its sore I'm sure it would have been much worse if Jay hadn't kissed it and rubbed lotion on it:)

Beautiful Loser

2009-10-18T10:42:00.002-04:00

Wow I can't believe I remembered the password to this blog lol. It did take me 3 tries to get it right though. Just haven't been into getting on here and writing anything down. My life is pretty boring, its just school and going home. Schools going good they ain't kicked me out yet cause of bad grades or whatever. When not going to school I'm working for Ryan's mom helping fix up houses. Its not actually working for her its for the construction company but her being in the real estate business she involved in the houses that are getting fixed up if that makes sense.

Yes if your wondering Mike does have a boyfriend. I have actually had 2 one being the guy I got now. The other guy lets just say didn't last long once I found out his bad habit of putting stuff up his nose. Luckily things didn't go far enough along with us for me to worry about anything if ya know what I mean, like in as far as me getting anything he may have had. Lets just say I didn't get fleas from the dog haha

But my guy now is certainly a keeper:) hes funny not to mention cute as a little kitten and this one definitely doesn't have fleas!! I met him at school and we being together now for about 4 months and all is great between us.

So about the title of my post Beautiful Loser, you may not know but along with country music I also love old rock music and love me some Bob Seger. Anyway I hadn't heard this song in ages but it has been in my head for about a week. So I stated listening to the song and reading the lyrics and got to wondering what the song was about, who is he describing in it. I'm not saying that I'm beautiful far from it but I read a comment on youtube that someone made about what they think the song means.

The song seems pretty simple to me. It's about a "good" man, who is considerate and kind and good ... but he is throwing away happiness with both hands, because he isn't able to be "happy" with what he has, because he thinks his goodness entitles him having it all, having everything and he doesn't understand why he doesn't have it all.
The singer pities the man, because he knows how crushing it will be for the man when he finally realizes that he's been wrong.

And it seems like it fits me somehow, I don't know maybe I'm crazy but I see myself in the lyrics. I'd like to think that I'm a "good" guy and I often wonder where being a good guy gets you in life. Look at other people who you wouldn't say are good and there is a lot of them that I would say have it all. Yeah I'm mainly referring to money and I know that's not having it all when you got tons of money but it sure don't hurt having it. A guy can be the biggest asshole in the world but if they have money other people look past the asshole part just cause of the money. Then you have the "good" guys they just get overlooked for the most part.

I don't know I reckon I'm just thinking to much. I plan writing on here more than i have been which has been hardly not at all but anyway maybe at least once a week or so, just to get things off my mind like the Beautiful Loser song that was bugging me.

Walk Off

2009-08-04T10:58:00.002-04:00

I think its about time to put this blog out of its misery. Ive never liked talking about myself and to come on here and try to I hate it. I know most will say nobodys forcing me to so why not just keep the blog and do like Ive been doing and post song videos and pics or whatever else I choose. I would do that but I got the feeling that I just need a fresh start of things and deleting this blog is part of it. I also got some other things I'm going to make a fresh start with but that's personal and those involved will find out soon enough, silence is golden.

I do like having a blog to post stuff on when I feel like it so I will be starting another one to post stuff on that interests me. I'll leave this blog up until I start the new one and put the link up just in case anybody would want to check it out.

My old home town

2009-07-27T13:23:00.002-04:00

I thought this video was really cool. Its a video of my home town someone made while they was on the Amtrak that stops in town once a week. When I found it I was like wow I can't believe someone taped my little no stop light town. It was shot last October so its 10 months old but I'm sure nothing much has changed.

Farther find me now

2009-07-21T11:41:00.004-04:00

Just me thinking

2009-06-08T13:08:00.002-04:00

I been thinking a lot lately of what makes people cry. I mean you cry when you get hurt because of pain but you also cry when your happy and also when sad. Is it weird not to cry ar all?

Of course I didnt cry when my "father" died, you may think I'm a terrible person but with him the only thing I thought was wow I'm glad thats finally over with. Now heres the weird part, when my brother died I didnt cry then either. Its not like I didnt love my brother me and him was real close.

I think a lot of why I didnt show any emotion at eithers dying. The one I hated so thats natural not to cry over him but my brother is the one got me puzzled. I just wonder if I will cry when my mom dies or my uncle and his family that I'm close to?

Sometimes nothing can be a real cool hand

2009-06-05T07:35:00.003-04:00

A quote

2009-05-31T06:07:00.001-04:00

I found this quote by Paul Newman and thought it was really cool. His movie Cool Hand Luke is my all time favorite.

"I'm a supporter of gay rights. And not a closet supporter either. From the time I was a kid, I have never been able to understand attacks upon the gay community. There are so many qualities that make up a human being... by the time I get through with all the things that I really admire about people, what they do with their private parts is probably so low on the list that it is irrelevant." - Paul Newman.

If's and buts and bust your nuts

2009-05-30T12:03:00.001-04:00

If kittens were the king of the jungle then mice would be elephants.

Connecting dots

2009-05-25T08:37:00.003-04:00

Please don't try to connect dots to song videos that I post with my own feelings. All the videos of singers I post, I do so because I love their voice, the way they sound. Lyrics to a song don't touch me like that to make me cry or be happy or whatever. I quit having feelings a long time ago. For the record I am doing just fine and I don't need to talk to anybody about my "problems" or "feelings".

I reckon I want to ride a bull since I'm posting this video. I would ride George Strait though haha. This is a old video of him he was hot back then and even though he's in his 50's now he's still a hot looking dude and I'd still ride him;)

What I'd Say

2009-05-24T12:03:00.000-04:00

Wishing I had this much talent

2009-05-15T10:42:00.001-04:00

The Voice is gone

2009-04-29T15:39:00.002-04:00

Second best voice in country music ever passed away today. Only thing my "father" ever did that was worth anything was to turn me on to Vern Gosdins music. Now all thats left is Georgs Jones as far as great voices go. Weird its like losing a close relative that I cared for.

Vern Gosdin, whose country hits included the chart-topping 'Set 'em Up Joe,' 'I Can Tell By the Way You Dance (You're Gonna Love Me Tonight)' and 'I'm Still Crazy,' died at a Nashville hospital early Wednesday morning. He was 74.

According to Nashville's Tennessean newspaper, Gosdin's administrative assistant Dawn Hall said the singer suffered "a pretty bad stroke" about three weeks ago. He died peacefully in his sleep.

Born in Woodland, Ala., on August 5, 1934, Gosdin was one of country music's most hardcore traditional singers, although his musical career encompassed a variety of genres. A one-time bandmate of The Byrds' Chris Hillman, he also performed with his brother Rex in the California-based band The Golden State Boys, and later as The Gosdin Brothers.

Gosdin charted consistently throughout the 1980s, with hits such as 'If You're Gonna Do Me Wrong (Do It Right),' 'That Just About Does It' and 'This Ain't My First Rodeo.' In 1989, his Top 10 hit 'Chiseled in Stone,' co-written with Max D. Barnes, earned CMA Song of the Year honors.

An obvious influence on a new generation of country acts, Gosdin's 1982 hit, 'Today My World Slipped Away,' became a chart-topper for George Strait in 1997, and Brad Paisley's 2003 album, 'Mud on the Tires,' included his version of Gosdin's 1990 hit, 'Is It Raining at Your House.'

Earlier this year, in an interview with The Boot, Jake Owen said of Gosdin, "He's not as respected as he should be. To me, he's one of the greatest singers I've ever heard interpret a
song. He's just got this coolness about him."

Funeral arrangements for Gosdin are incomplete.

The reason why

2009-03-18T15:41:00.000-04:00

The Reason Why @ Yahoo! Video

Looking for trouble?

2009-03-09T11:23:00.002-04:00

Guess what y'all

Ok give up,Ill tell you. I ended up going to the Nascar race after all yesterday. It kind of happened all of the sudden like. I was thinking I was going to watch it on TV but about 8:30 yesterday morning I get a knock on the door.

Of course I'm shocked a bit about who it is, It was Corey and that parts not shocking cause he comes to visit all the time, but he had company and it was Ryan.

He's waving a ticket in his hand and tells me guess what, your going to the race with us. I said no I'm not I'll watch it on TV. He says that makes no sense a Nascar race only 30 miles away and you love Nascar but you going to watch it on a damn 20 inch TV.

I wont go into the argument but we get into a good one and finally he says well if you don't want the ticket I'll just rip it up and I don't even care that it cost 80 bucks. I know he would of torn it up to cause he's that way. He said whether you go or not I'll have spent 80 bucks on you so you just as well get off your pride horse and go.

So I went and had a great time, I enjoyed the race my driver Kasey Kahne came in 7th and it looked like he had a chance to win for a while but oh well.

I may have had to good of a time but only time will tell on that. You ever do something and soon as it's done you think, why in the hell did I just do that.

True happiness if it exists

2009-03-06T11:29:00.002-05:00

The path to true happiness is:

Having something to do

Having someone or something to love

Having something to hope for.

So far I strike out in all 3 but who knows what the future holds, more of the same maybe, or not.

Check this out!!

2009-03-05T14:50:00.003-05:00

I just found this link to the new movie Milk, the one Sean Penn just won an Oscar for. Just think you could be one of the first to have it. It don't release till March 10 but there taking orders for it now.

Missed chances

2009-03-05T12:19:00.003-05:00

I had a chance to go to a Nascar race this weekend but had to turn it down. Their racing in Hampton which is not far from where I'm staying. Corey invited me, the whole family was going.

I can't see myself going to the race as much as I wanted to go and them paying for it. Corey was even trying to talk me into going by telling me he was paying for it himself but I know better.

It would probably been odd being at the race anyway cause Ryan and his boy friend was going to be there. Don't get me wrong I'm happy for them and every thing but I do think it would be awkward, not that I would ever do or say anything its just a funny feeling i have.

It's OK really cause I can still watch it on TV.

Growing Up Confused

2009-03-01T10:31:00.002-05:00

Did y'all ever think about when you was a kid what you wanted to do when you were grown. Like most kids would say fireman,policeman, doctor or teacher that type of stuff.

I reckon every kid probably did, that's is except me. I been doing a lot of thinking about when I was little and I honestly cant remember ever saying or even some one asking me what I wanted to be.

I don't even have a clue what I would have answered back then. There was no policeman in the holler I lived in. Only police was the state police and they never came up there. Same with a fireman I never seen a fire truck unless I went into town.

Maybe that's why I'm so fucked up now cause I never had a clue even at a young age what I wanted to be.

Now I'm just a mid 20's just started college stuttering mess.

A Lot to Say and Can't Get it Out

2009-02-27T13:26:00.002-05:00

Guys I'm sorry for not getting on here sooner and letting you know whats up with me. I just honestly ain't been in the mood. All my free time from school I use to try and get traffic to my other two blogs.

I'm embarrassed also to come on here and tell you this but I don't have a damn job yet down here. Well that's not true cause I had 2 and they didn't work out. I don't know if I ever mentioned it on here but I stutter and quite bad around new people which sucks cause that's all there is down here.

Anyway both the jobs were in the mall and having to talk to people, customers and whatever. I had bad feelings they wasn't going to work out from the get go. I hate to speak bad of young people but they can be smart asses. One of the jobs was in a kids store as a sales person, it lasted 2 days. A kid heard me stuttering while talking to his mom and afterwards I seen him making fun of me. I didn't say anything just tucked my tail between my legs and quit the next day.

Next one was in a cloths store it went basically the same way except the smart ass was a 20 year old punk and I lost my cool and shoved him and quit before I got fired.

So that's what I been up to,I'm fucking depressed as hell cause I'm down here more or less mooching off Ryan's family cause I got no more money to pay for rent or utilites. Shes offers me money I'm to ashamed to take it. I'd go back home but if I did I'd only hear I told you so's and I so had my mind set to make it down here I cant give up yet.

I'm making a little money from my 2 blogs but still cant get the traffic to them that I should. Its usually around 125 a day but they expect it to be at least 500 or more.

You may noticed I cleared all my side bars of google and amazon ads. I'm going to try a new company and see if I can make money from them. They got a lot of name brand company they sell for and some cool stuff.

I was wondering if y'all was to be interested in buying stuff, what would it be like electronics or toys or whatever. If you give me an idea maybe I can find a company and place it on the blog.

I'm going to try to start writing on here more. I know I promised before but I mean it this time. I want to try to start getting more traffic to here and a main way is to keep writing. Its just hard when your life's a fucking mess, you don't really feel like writing about it.

I'll tell ya how schools being going later. I don't want to tell everything in one post and not have anything to say later lol.

Lazy Day

2009-01-19T11:35:00.003-05:00

Hey guys no classes for me today so yeah for me. I just been messing around on the internet. I posted on my sports blog I have a little while ago and gonna post on the other one later. I wanted to ask a favor about them but first wanted to tell about how schools being going. I'm actually loving it which surprised me because you know how I am always thinking the worst is going to happen. Ive seen quite a few guys who I would guess are gay, quite a few to me is 5 coming from small town WV that's a lot lol. Anyway I may be wrong but they are worth keeping my eye on:)The guy Jordan who I helped has called me almost everyday since I met him which is cool with me. I don't mind at all. He has said a few times if I mind him calling and I keep telling him no. I finally got me a tv, its not that big 27 inchs and I got it cheap because its not HD which I don't need. Hell I still remember not so long ago when we had a old tv with dials and you got up to turn it so anything with a remote and I'm a happy camper. I been spending a lot of time with Corey, we been going to the mall a lot and hes showing me around town, showing me the ropes I guess you could say. Ive pretty much settled in,all I need to do is find me a job. Ryan's mom says not to be in any hurry and concentrate on my school work but I hate not paying my way so Ill have a job soon.

I had mentioned my other 2 blogs earlier and I wanted to ask a favor. I know some of y'all read Ryan's blog also so if you see he has posted something about my blogs on his blog its because I mentioned it to him and he said he was going to. He has a lot more people come to his blog so I think him saying something will help more than me. The favor I wanted to ask is if y'all would link my 2 blogs to yours if you have one and start visiting them regularly. I'm trying to get into the top 10 in traffic,the tenth place blog gets 570 visitors a day. Right now all I get is about 25 visitors a day on average so I know that's asking a lot and its a big jump to 570 but I was going to try anyway. The number one blog if you was wondering gets 2,900 visits daily so that's way out of my league but I maybe could get close to 570 with you guys helping. Even if I don't make top 10 it would be cool to see how close I can get. If y'all can help in any way Id appreciate it a lot and if you cant that's cool to we can still be buddies:)

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Yeah I'm Crazy

2009-01-18T09:59:00.005-05:00

I know yall probably think I am crazy switching back and forth from blogging to not and then making my blog invite only and now obviously its back to everyone seeing it. Well yeah I am crazy or think I am sometimes anyway. But I thought all night about switching to invite and the more I did it didnt sit well with me. The internet is a free place dammit and Im not going to hide what I got to say. I will keep the comment moderation on though so as to keep the butt holes from having their 2 cents. Those who did ask for a invite thanks a lot for being interested enough in what I have to say to ask for one. I got a lot of emails of support also and thanks for those as well. I did write a few people back but to be honest thanking people for supporting me and liking me is like pulling teeth. Ive never taking a compliment well and I have a hard time giving people compliments. Ive always been that way I reckon its because of not hearing many growing up so I dont know how to take them. But I do appreciate all the kind words from everybody even though I didnt personally email you. I was going to go into how school is going today but I dont really have time because I made plans with Corey to get breakfast then go to the mall. I will update yall on school tommorow though. So Im back for everyone to see and read even the old farts out there:)

Try This Again

2009-01-16T10:52:00.003-05:00

I know nobody can read this post but I figure if you come to check out my blog and get the sign in page you will have figured out I switched to approving readers. I'm not sending anybody any invites I just don't want it to look like I am so full of myself that y'all would want to come see what I'm blogging about. So if you see the page I hope you will ask for a invite by sending me a email. If not I reckon I wont have any readers lol.

I hate that it looked like I was quitting and letting some asshole get the better of me. I'm tougher than that so yeah I'm back. Ill be back tomorrow to tell how school is going got to run now.

I Wish It Was My Imagination

2009-01-13T16:56:00.003-05:00

Y'all probably seen the comment on my last post that I'm going to be talking about. If you didn't here it is made by anonymous Quite the imagination you got there. I never intended to ever have a blog. I just signed up to blogger one day because I was lonely in my little small town and was looking for other gay people around my age. None of the people who read my blog now were around back then. This is I think my fourth blog,I deleted 2 others when my sister in Florida found them on the internet. This is also my second blogger account, I deleted the other because of my sister also. Ryan is using the third blog I started and this is my fourth. Like I said I never intended to start a blog but I found Ryan on blogger and he talked me into making one. He said it would help me to get over my shyness if I write my feeling down. So I did and to be honest its hard for me to put my feelings into words thats why y'all see me skip several months at a time without posting. The first 2 blogs were real personal stuff about growing up with a drunk for a "father" and being beat on a regular basis and watching my mom being beat on. My brother dying of a drug over dose and the hate I had and still do for my "father." How glad I was when he died and that kind of stuff. Stuff that was really personal and difficult for me to write but I did because it did make me feel better after i got it out. I don't write stuff like that anymore because I got to the point where it felt like I was whining about it and I told myself to grow up.

So I say all what I just said to tell whoever thinks I have a "great imagination" I wish it was just all my imagination. When I get people saying I'm making stuff up well then its time to call it done I think. I don't know if it was a regular visitor to my blog or just a random stranger. I would like to think it was a stranger because all the people who visited my blog I think I know their names from comments and would hope they believed in me enough to know I wouldn't be making shit up. Just for the record I have never made up a single thing on any of the blogs Ive ever had. Now with that said Ill say so long and if anybody wants to keep in touch with me feel free to email at MikeyP21@inbox.com. I am going to continue to write on the 2 blogs I started over at Today.com, after all they aren't personal and I cant be making the stuff up. The 2 links are below and so I reckon Ill be saying so long now.

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First Day Of Class

2009-01-11T11:25:00.002-05:00

Well my first day of classes was Friday and while I had worried about how it would go I didn't really have anything to worry about. It went really well to my surprise. I have visions of me oversleeping and wrecking on the way to school among other worries. I think I thought of any bad thing that could happen to me haha. Y'all may not know it about me but I am always early wherever I go or whatever I do. So I was 30 minutes early to class and had some time to kill, I went and got a coffee which I never drink and sure didn't need as nervous as I was already. As I was sitting on a bench drinking it I hear yelling and loud talking around the corner from me. So I go around the corner and I see these 3 guys and one of them has a guy backed up against the wall real close to him and yelling. I hear what hes yelling and its about this other guy being gay. Hes saying they don't want fags here and he said some other college in the city I didn't catch the name but he said that's the queer school where you need to be. All the guy he was yelling at was saying back to him was leave me alone,I'm not bothering you. So I reckon I am about to make enemies at school right off the bat but want gonna stand by and let this redneck push this guy around. The redneck wasn't that big so I figured I could probably take him if I had to. The guy he was calling gay was real small not short but skinny. So I yell from about 25 feet away hey dude whats your problem. He says he don't have one and if I know whats good for me I'll shut up before I had one. Now Ive walked up to him and were like 6 feet apart from each other. He says what are you a queer lover and I say what if I am or better yet what if I am gay you want to jump me like your jumping this guy that's about 100 pounds lighter than you. He says your not gay I can tell but listen to this fruit he sounds like a woman,hes gay as a 2 dollar bill. So hes pissing me off real good. I tell him best thing him and his 2 buddies can do is walk away. His 2 buddies didn't seem that bad. They was telling him to come on and lets go Joe, rednecks name was Joe I reckon. Anyway he wont move on so I tell him something Ive heard my uncle tell guys before he starts kicking ass I say you best move on or I'm gonna stomp a mudhole in your ass and walk it dry dude. So one of the other guys starts pushing him up the street and hes cussing and stuff but at least hes gone. The guy being picked on is left standing there and I know hes embarrassed and hes about to cry. So I say are you ok and he says yeah and thanks me. We walk back up to the bench where I was sitting and sit down. He told me his name is Jordan and hes from Atlanta, he was really cute. I didn't ask his age but he looked at 20 I think. After talking to him I could see what made Joe the redneck pick on him. He has a voice that sounds a little feminine. He told me he hates his voice and ever since about age 13 its been hell for him and he trys not to speak to anyone if he doesn't have to. He said Joe didn't go to school there but hes known him since high school and just happened to run into him on the street. Which is good cause I would hate to have a class with the asshole. I gave Jordan my number and told him to call me if he ever runs into Joe again. He laughed and didn't take me serious I didn't think but I was totally. I reckon Ive got me a new little friend which is cool with me. Sorry for rambling on and I didn't even tell how class went haha. They went good,Ill have more to tell later including a cute teacher I got my eye on who looks like Brad Pitt:)

Nervous

2009-01-05T13:58:00.002-05:00

I don't really know what I mean by nervous,its kinda hard to explain. I'm in a new place and its a whole lot bigger. I'm by myself more or less,I know theres others here but still yet I think of myself as alone. I reckon you can call it homesick. I was going to go to the mall and look around to see if anyones hiring but I talked myself out of it. Corey was going to go with me but something come up and he couldn't and after that I talked myself out of it. I still get sort of nervous going into the city by myself but Ill get over it with time. It don't hurt to have Corey come with me the first couple times.

I wanted to mention something else. If y'all remember about a month ago I wrote about signing up to a site where they pay you to write blog posts. If you remember it was 1 dollar a post of 100 words or more. One post a day is all they pay for but you can make as many a day as you want. Well to update everybody I got my first 30 dollars added to my paypal the other day. It was actually 32 dollars the 2 dollars extra was for traffic that came to my blog. I know 30 bucks ain't much to most people but its a tank of gas to me and only take about 15 minutes out of my day and it ain't like I got time to kill anyway. Also after 30 days and 30 posts they let you do a second blog if you want so I'm going to be starting another one soon. My first one is on sports and I think my next will be something about the entertainment business like tv or celeb news like that. I know there is only about 10 people come here and read my blog but I was wondering if any of you had any ideas of how I could bring more traffic to the sports blog I have. I'm not really that good at that kind of stuff,heck all I really know how to do is turn my computer on and mess with the template on a blog a little after that I'm lost. Any ideas you guys have I would appreciate. Here's the link to my blog if y'all want to check it out. Also heres the link to the place to sign up if anybody wanted to make a little extra cash.

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New Start

2009-01-04T11:01:00.003-05:00

Well look who made it to Atlanta safe and sound and in one piece, little ole me. I didn't have any trouble getting down here I just hate driving such long distances with no one else in the truck. But like I said I made it. Left on the 1st at about 5 am and with stopping a few times I got down here about 3 in the afternoon. Of course there was Corey waiting on me at the house to welcome me lol. He helped me unload all my stuff which didn't take long. I am glad he was around though because in the move I somehow jostled my computer and it wouldn't work at first but he took the side off and found something loose and plugged it in and worked good as new. I wanted to go see my school so we went into the city and he showed me where it was. He'd already figured out the quickest way to get there from the house. Classes don't start till the 9th so I just been getting use to the place around here a bit. I don't have a TV yet so that sucks but Corey let me know I can come up to the house anytime and watch up there. My favorite football the Dolphins is playing today at 1 so I'm going up to watch it. I don't want to make a nuisance of myself so Ill be getting me a TV real soon. My uncle gave me a little money to help me out till I found a job so Ill use some of that to find me a cheap one. No time to go to the mall and look at cute guys before the game so I reckon Ill just hang out here till one.

Tick Tock Tick Tock

2008-12-29T14:28:00.003-05:00

That sound you hear is the clock ticking down to the new year and yes that means me going to Georgia on a fast train. Ok so I'm driving that's just a song by Billy Joe Shaver I like. I'm all set nothing left to do but finish some packing and unhook the computer throw it all in the bed of my truck and scram. I did get some news that eased my mind about my mom. I was worrying about her being here by herself but just as luck would have it a cousin we hadn't seen in a while popped back into town and needed a place to stay so I had the idea of her staying here. That way my mom wont be so lonely. I seen in the comments Tim and Elise were speaking of me and Ryan maybe ending back up together. I really don't see that happening honestly I don't. For one thing Ryan don't come to his parents as much as people may think he does. Also the house I am going to be staying in you cant even see it from the family's house so I'll be out of sight out of mind so to say. I think since we were together Ryan has changed quite a bit. I'm probably not even his taste anymore. From what I read hes into that going out staggering home scene. And that's cool if that what you and your partner are into but as yall know that's not for me.

What's New

2008-12-18T13:14:00.002-05:00

Hey guys I just thought I would get on here and tell yall about the college I'm going to down in Atlanta. The name of it is Herzing College and they have campuses all over the United States and Canada and even in China I think. They have a criminal justice dept. so that will fit right in with me wanting to work in law enforcement. Ive already got all my financial aid stuff took care of and classes for spring semester start Jan.9 so I'm planning on leaving here On Jan.1 truck packed up with all my junk ready to roll. Actually all I really have is clothes and the computer I'm on right now. So ill be traveling pretty light. As for where Ill be living that's an interesting story in itself. I was talking to Corey a while back and mentioned I had made my mind up where I was moving and that it was down there. He was thrilled about it cause me and him had always gotten along real well and he will be somebody to hang around with down there. So he goes telling Ryan's mom about it and she gets in her head that I am going to stay in a house that's on their property. She told Corey not to tell me about it for a while cause she had some fixing up to do on the place. The windows were real bad in the place and she went and replaced every window in the house. Then also the roof leaked and she had it fixed. He didn't want to tell me what she had done to the house to make it liveable but I told him if he didn't I wouldn't even consider staying there so he had to tell me. I told her the only was Ill stay there is if she makes up a lease and I pay rent starting right off the bat. She knows how I am about not taking stuff from people so she agreed but it was funny her trying to talk my monthly rent down and me trying to up it. But we finally agreed on a price. I know y'all are probably thinking its going to awkward being there and when Ryan comes to visit his mom. Their property is so big the house I'm staying in you cant even see from the main house. Ryan's a cool guy and all that but that's the past I'm looking forward to meeting new people. There wont be any problem with me keeping my hands to myself. If it does happen which I don't see it Ill have no problem coming on here and telling on myself so I can hear all the i told you so's lol. Well that's whats happening with me. Just about 2 more weeks here than heading south.

Made My Mind Up

2008-12-14T11:48:00.003-05:00

So yeah i made my mind up I reckon. After looking around online and checking things out and the fact I'm a big chicken shit when it comes to being in new places. I have decided to go to a place where I know a little bit about. Yes I decided to move to Atlanta and enroll in a college there. Ive already checked into it and my finanical aid I got for the college here I can transfer it. I know I said there was ghosts in Atlanta but like I said there no where near as bad as the ones here in my hometown. Ryan and I are still on good terms and I'm happy he has found someone. Hell when I get down to Atlanta I hope to find me someone cause yes your boys horny and its been awhile for me, the hand thing gets old. And no I dont mean hooking up with Ryan cause trust me that wont happen. Living arrangements and stuff Ill tell about later. Im suppose to be up to my uncles at noon and its almost that now.

One quick thing I wanted to mention. I found this cool place to make a little extra money. They pay you to blog your posts have to 100 words is the only catch. Its only one dollar a day but hell in a months time you can make 30 bucks. Dont worry when you read that it takes 30 days to be approved. They approved me in about 2 hours. Heres the link below and if you do decide to sign up through the link I get 5 bucks

Something To Look At:)

2008-12-07T18:00:00.004-05:00

Ok so I got a huge crush on this guy Colt Mccoy quarterback for the Texas Longhorns. Check his ass out in the white see thru pants they wear.

Thanks Guys!!

2008-12-06T11:17:00.003-05:00

I dont really have anything new to blog about but I did want to thank everyone who left ideas for new places for me either in the comments or the few who emailed me info. Thanks a lot and I really haven't decided anything yet but my mind is still strong on moving so that aint changed at all.

Anywhere But Here

2008-12-03T08:34:00.003-05:00

I been thinking a lot the last week about stuff. Mainly the comment Tim made about finding new ghost got me to thinking a lot so thanks Tim cause it never hurts to be reminded to do it ever now and then haha. So yeah I been thinking of moving from here just dont know where to just yet. When I say move I mean out of state. Ill have to give up going to school here but I can always start somewhere else. Only place I ever lived besides here was Atlanta and a little bit in Florida and I got a few ghost in both those places also. Not bad ones maybe there like Casper the friendly ghost but still their ghosts. So really Im open to looking at the whole damn country all 3000 miles as crazy as that sounds. Hell I may wind up in Alaska or even Hawaii. Just anywhere but here.

What Are You Thankful For?

2008-11-26T08:14:00.002-05:00

I guess this is the time of the year everybody gets to say what there thankful for. Wouldn't you know mine would be kind of screwed up. Every year at this time it gets me to thinking back how we never had Thanksgiving dinner when my "father" was alive. We always went up the road to my grandpas house who was my moms dad. So my "father" never went cause my mom had 8 brothers who couldn't stand the sight of him so he knew he wasn't wanted. My grandma would always have the biggest dinner cooked. Anything you could name she would almost have it. She cooked for what looked like a army with her having 15 kids and them bringing their kids and hangers on.

I can only remember one time we tried to have thanksgiving dinner and it was a disaster. Ive told this story on another blog before that I deleted but I don't think any of you were around then. It was thanksgiving and I was 8 and was helping my mom in the kitchen. Which my "father" hated and led to name calling fag,queer, sissyboy the works. Anyway I'm helping and I'm peeling potatoes at the time so he comes up behind me and goes off yelling about how I'm not peeling right I'm taking off to much potato with the skin. He says who the fuck you think pays for them boy you sure the fuck don't. Then they all get swiped off the counter into the floor. I didn't get much of a whipping over that other than hit in the back of the head when he was standing behind. What really makes me remember the day is him saying you want to be a little queer faggot then be one outside and then he made me strip to my underwear and locked me out on the front porch. My mom tried to get me back in but he wouldn't let her near the door. I didn't stand out there but for about 30 minutes I think then a neighbor saw me and took me next door. They knew how he was so they didn't even ask me why am I outside in my undies,they just knew. So I reckon ya ll can guess what I'm thankful for this year without me really even saying it.

What's Wrong With People?

2008-11-23T08:37:00.003-05:00

Has anybody seen this story about the 19 yr old guy who committed suicide on a webcam as people sat and watched him and did nothing for hours. How could you sit and watch something like that and not say anything?

Looney Tunes

2008-11-22T10:09:00.003-05:00

I woke up early this morning and was in the mood to watch some cartoons. I haven't watched Saturday morning cartoons in a long time. One thing I noticed right off the bat is all the new cartoons suck or at least the ones my cable is showing. I can remember back when I was little every Saturday morning I would be up early usually at 7 and run up to my grandpa's to watch a few hours of cartoons. We had a TV but it either stayed broke from getting stuff throwed at it or my "father" wouldn't let me watch them. He said their stupid go out and play get out of his site so for the best I always watched up grandpa's. Looney Tunes were my favorites and of all those characters Yosemite Sam was my fave out of them. I got my favorite cartoon off YouTube and posted it below. If y'all know of any new cartoons that are good mention them in the comments and I'll check them out.

2 Post In 1 Day A Record!!

2008-11-21T13:49:00.003-05:00

Y'all may noticed I changed my template,the green one was getting old. Also decided what the hell and throwed ads up on the side. Just trying to make a little extra gas money. Cant blame a guy for that can ya:) Still no news on my student loan the lady said it may be Monday before I hear anything. Weather here ain't been to bad its snowed a little but nothing really sticking to the roads. Temps being in the low 30's mostly. Check these 2 pics out I found online. Their from Canaan Valley which is a ski resort here in WV. I just love a good snowy picture, the top one I am using as my desktop back ground.

Just Shoot Me

2008-11-21T11:51:00.003-05:00

Y'all ever have the least littlest thing bug the crap out of you. Like for me I know its not that big of a deal but the fact my American Idol blog link was working for me but nobody else was pissing me off so bad. Tim mentioned putting www in the link but I thought yo didn't have to shows how much I know about computers lol. So I went and did that and I also noticed one of the / was missing behind http: so maybe that was it. So anyway I reckon I got it fixed and if I don't someone please let me know so I can shoot myself haha. American Idol Blog

Also wanted to thank whoever clicked on my google ads and also bought a book off amazon. I know it had to be one of y'all cause this is only place Ive put links up so whoever did it your sweet and thanks and if I was near you I'd give you a big kiss:)

WOW!!

2008-11-20T08:29:00.004-05:00

How about this another post and only 2 days after my last one haha. Thanks everybody for the advice and I am in the process of seeing about getting finicial aid. Much as I hate to cause damn I hate owning anybody lol. But anyway I am feeling a little better since I did it and the woman said she didnt see a problem with my applications being approved. It was kinda scary cause Ive never did anything like that before and she could tell I was nervous and was a big help to me.

Also wanted to mention about the other blog thing I got going. I never intended for it to pay my way through school lol. I just wanted to find something to make a little extra money lets say bubble gum and pop money lol. Not that I chew bubble gum but i do drink pop. Just kidding I was just starting it to earn some extra gas money and for stuff like that. I see where Ed mentioned the link I put up didnt work but it works for me so I dont know whats up with that.American Idol Blog

Sit Down And Quit

2008-11-18T08:59:00.005-05:00

Hey guys sorry for not posting in so long. I have read your comments asking about me and I know I'm terrible for not getting on here and letting y'all know how I am doing. I got no excuse other than being really depressed the last few months mainly over money. I hate to even talk about it,to me stuff like that's your own business but i think of y'all as friends and I read how you worry about me and everything. You ever feel like sitting down and saying the hell with it and just throwing in the towel. First off no I'm not depressed over Ryan that's just something that didn't work out and hes a great guy and Ill never say anything bad about him. The whole depression thing is about me wanting to stay in school but not having the money to.I'm still in school as of now and paid up but that ending soon and my full time job I was working cut me back to part time so that's just my good luck lol. Ive had people offer to loan me the money ok I say people only Ryan has offered but I think you know I cant take money from him. I just wasn't raised that way. We do still talk on the phone and I was asking him if he had any ideas for me. He mentioned how it might make me a few extra dollars by putting ads on my blog like he has on his. He donates all his to charities but he says its adds up to a good bit over time so I thought Id see about doing it. I didn't want to do it on this blog cause not that many people come to it so I made a blog about American Idol but I got to figure out how to get people to come to it. I chose American Idol cause I never miss a episode of it and its popular and thought maybe people would be interested in it. Ryan said he would mention me on his blog. Some of the ads are google and some are amazon. The amazon ones are harder to make money on I think because a person has to go through your blog to order something. But google are the kind you just click and it makes cents. Hell I probably wont make nothing but I can try. I just want to continue to go to school and theres no damn jobs around this place to be had. Anyways guys that's what I been up to nothing really just work,school and money problems like I'm the only one has money problems but that's it.

Oh almost forgot to tell you,if anybody does happen to go to my new blog you'll notice the name Darrell on posts. I was wanting to keep it separate from this blogger account so I made another one. Darrell is the name of my brother who died if you were wondering how I chose it. Just thought it would be cool to use it.

American Idol Blog

Thoughts

2008-08-08T12:51:00.001-04:00

Inside Feelings

2008-07-18T12:25:00.001-04:00

Sometimes you just have these feelings inside and you try your best to describe them but you can't. Then out of the blue you hear a song that describes them for you. I was listening to this cd someone left behind and there was this song that describes the feelings inside. Now I don't know what to do with them.

Eighty dollars round trip, anywhere you fly
Well, that sounds like a winner, but before I book the flight
Hey, talk me out of Tampa
Well, tell me 'bout New Orleans, just when is that Mardi Gras?
Well, then how about Chicago?
Is it cold there now or not?
Talk me out of Tampa

I mean surely there's a hurricane due to hit there any day
Won't that close the beaches and the airport?
Or maybe it's still way too hot or did I hear
Somewhere you stopped flyin' into that part of the country?
You can think of somethin' can't ya?
Just talk me out of Tampa

Between that first ride at Busch Gardens
And room eight, Bayside Motel
There's no way around the memories
Don't let me do this to myself
Talk me out of Tampa
I'd just wind up at his front door
He's still living there, I bet
Oh, but what if he's not there alone
There goes what pride that I've got left
Talk me out of Tampa, please

I mean surely there's a hurricane due to hit there any day
Won't that close the beaches and the airport?
Or maybe it's still way too hot or did I hear
Somewhere you stopped flyin' into that part of the country?
You can think of somethin' can't ya?
Just talk me out of Tampa

Put me somewhere, nowhere even close
To where I feel when my heart broke
Exactly six months ago this weekend
I just need to get away
Without your help, ma'am, I'm afraid
It wouldn't be a getaway at all
You can make up somethin' can't ya?
Just talk me out of Tampa
Eight dollars round trip, anywhere you fly

By Joe Nichols

What Is The Truth Really?

2008-07-17T21:53:00.003-04:00

I guess it's because the truth,

is the hardest thing you'll ever face.

Because you can't change the truth,

in the slightest way. I tried.

Happy 4th Of July Everybody

2008-07-04T08:19:00.002-04:00

My Towns Gay Pride Parade

2008-07-03T14:52:00.002-04:00

So Ive been reading and seeing all over the internet guys talking about their towns gay pride parades and posting pics and stuff. So I thought I would take my camera and hop in my truck this past Saturday and go looking for my towns gay pride parade. I looked down main street which you can cover in about 2 minutes going the speed limit of 25 mph and didn't see any signs of a parade. Turned down some side streets and still no parade. I asked a couple old timers had they seen it and they said nope they ain't seen hide nor hair of any parade today. Ok that part about the old timers I made up cause if I asked if anybody seen a gay pride parade I'd be missing ever window in my truck right now. So I reckon I missed the parade by a hair but oh well maybe I'll catch it next year. Anyway while all y'all was out celebrating gay pride this is how my little town celebrated it.

What Do Y'all Think

2008-06-27T15:16:00.004-04:00

I was just curious how all the guys like their swimmers to look. The Olympics is coming up in August and the USA has decided to go with a full body speedo for their swimmers. I got a pic of Michael Phelps in one below and hes still hot as hell but to me nothing compares to a little skinny speedo just barely hiding the goodies. I think its maybe the expectations of something maybe gonna show at any second and with the full body one no way in hell you gonna see anything except maybe a good hard on bulge:)

To Fat To Fish

2008-06-23T13:30:00.003-04:00

Hey everybody yes that's right its time for my bi-monthly update lol. Not much going on in my crazy ass head which is a good thing I think. Some good new is I ain't had a drink since a week before the last post I put up. I ain't gonna count the days I hate doing that it makes me feel like a alcoholic which I don't think I am I think I was just experimenting and I'm done with that so I'm not keeping track of the days. I have decided to go back to school so. Yes I quit listening to the little devil on my shoulder. For some odd reason I pictured him as my "father" and after I did the decision wasn't really that hard. Switching subjects, for those that don't know I use to be chubby as a kid then during my mid teens it got in my head real bad and I started starving myself. Then I got my head right and started eating right and got my weight where it should be in the last few years. Anyway I been feeling lately I'm fat again. I don't know really why other than maybe I need something for my fucked up head to worry about be it drinking or my weight or losing a boy friend or whatever. So Ive started watching what I eat lately and I think I can afford to lose about 20 lbs. before it gets any worse than it is. I got a few pics of when I was younger and skinnier kinda sickly looking and I know I don't want to go back to looking like a skeleton but think losing a few lbs wouldn't hurt. That's about it for the update I reckon. Took a few pics of stuff around my town and wanted to share so check them out below.

I see this old wagon everyday and whenever I do it always kinda reminds me of the old Little House On the Prairie Show. Also makes me think of who all rode on it in its lifetime and what all its seen. My old barber I go to in town says its been parked in that same spot as long as hes been there and that's 40 years so its kinda cool to think about it. Btw what do y'all pay for haircuts where you live. For me is 7.00 dollars it was just 5 till a few years ago and the barbers wife made him raise it lol.

I just love the color of this bush but for some reason it don't look as blue in the pic but still is pretty.

What do you see in the distance? I know I use to stop there about twice a week but since I'm getting fat its off limits now:(

Catching Up

2008-06-13T13:16:00.000-04:00

Hey everybody yes I'm still alive and kickin. I know y'all worry about me and I do appreciate it a lot. Also wanted to thank everyone for the emails they sent. I know I should answer y'all back when you say if I ever want to talk your there to listen but I hate like hell talking about myself and I hate even more discussing my feelings. What am I feeling? Why do I feel that way? Hell I don't know either answer. All I can figure is its caused by how I was raised. You wasn't allowed to speak unless you was spoken to and if you tried you was shut off real quick. I don't blame my mom cause she was did the same way by my "father" oh but he always had plenty to say and if you didn't listen you caught hell big time. Of course I been thinking about him a lot lately with me being drinking the way I have. I want to tell a little story about him so you know the kind of guy he was. What reminds me of this story is my little doggie I got now. I was about 13 or 14 and this stray dog had been hanging around the neighborhood for about a week. It was a real pretty blue tick coon hound if anybody knows what that is they are beautiful dogs. I think he had got lost on a coon hunt or something anyway I had said I'd love to have him for my own. So one day I come home from school and was shocked by what I found in the house. My "father" had caught that dog and did what he called later marking him FOR ME so no one could reclaim him from me. How did he mark him? He took a razor blade and cut a one inch nick out of that dogs beautiful ear. There was blood all over the house the dog hiding under the bed scared to death. Him laying on the couch passed out drunk. No need to say I was so pissed off I started crying I grabbed a crutch that was leaning in the corner and broke it on the back of his head while he was passed out. Unfortunately it didn't kill him and I did get the hell beat out of me the next day after he came to but it felt good doing it. I did manage to get the dog out from under the bed and patch his ear up. He ended up staying at my uncles house and was there long after my sorrow ass "father" ended up being worm food. Omg was my uncle pissed when he found out what he had done. If I hadn't hit him with the crutch I think they would have fought but he said he got what he deserved so fuck him. So that's my story comes to mind cause of my little doggie. Just what use to be another fun day in the Pierce house. Don't know why I told that other than just getting it off my mind.

On another subject my uncle has threatened to kick my ass if I don't stop drinking. So its been a week now and I haven't touched anything stronger than pop. I hate that I'm trying to talk myself out of not going back to school in fall. I know its for the best but I got a little devil on my shoulder saying fuck it. I ain't give into him yet though lol. Wow what a long post for me I'm wore out and need a nap.

Oh had to come back and add this. I know nobody likes Nascar but me but what about my boy Kasey Kahne. Won a million dollars in a race and has won the last 2 out of 3 races run. Pretty cool and needless to say I'm thrilled for him,even enough to post a pic of him.

It's In The Genes

2008-05-27T12:32:00.002-04:00

Heres it been almost another month gone before a post from me lol. Really nothing going on with me other than working a fishin a little bit. Schools been out since the second week in May so thats good, To be honest I was getting tired of it. To say Im tired of it may be wrong. I just been depressed and sad a lot lately maybe thats it. One big reason is I miss Ryan and yes I know its over but still that dont keep me from missing him. Another thing is I dont think Im a very good friend. Like I had this one friend and true we didnt communicate much and it was only thru emails but one day I emailed him and he never wrote back so I sent another email ask if he was mad at me. He said no hes just been real busy. So I wrote back ok I wont bother you anymore. He never wrote back and I treid again and still nothing so I dont know. All I know is its sad to lose a friend. I know Im not a good friend,hell I got several emails from guys right now I need to answer its just Im to fucked up to do it.

The guy who was gonna move in when school let out finally got all moved in. Yes he started out just as a roommate but you know how things go cute guy and all alone in the apartment and me sad as fuck so yeah it happened hehe.

Im embarrased as fuck to even say it but I have started drinking. I dont know if its a problem yet anyway but with my dna,genes or whatever however you say it Im sure it will be. Me drinking makes me sad but yet I do it when Im sad how fucked up is that. Ill probably turn into a raging alcoholic drunk like my "father" and brother. Kinda ironic if I would end up like my "father" seeing as how I hateed his guts when he was alive and I end up just like him.

Just Thinkin

2008-05-03T15:32:00.002-04:00

I been thinking recently of starting me a new blog just to post pics of hot guys. I know I had boys club and got depressed or something I dont know anyway I deleted it. But since I dont have a blog to post cute guys on right now Im gonna put one on here hehe. I wish I could say this is the guy moving in with me but just my luck hes not. Not to say the guy who is aint cute cause he is he just aint omg cute like this guy. I got 2 other pics of him showing more but didnt want to post on here so if anybody wanted to see just email and I'd be happy to send to you.

Still Alive And Kickin

2008-05-01T14:33:00.002-04:00

Wow I cant believe its been a whole month since I been on here posting anything. I cant say I haven't been on the internet cause I have. I just haven't had anything to write about that I think is important. But I seen a few comments from y'all in the past week and thought omg i better say something I bet they think I'm dead or something haha

I just been busy with school and work mostly. School is in what they call dead week.Its so you can study and prepare for finals which is next week. I hate to brag on myself but I have been doing really good so keep your fingers crossed I do good on my finals lol. I've went fishing a few times on the weekends with my uncle and cousins. That was fun it had been a while since I had been and it was good to get to go. Oh my puppy is growing like a weed and mean as a snake. Speaking of the puppy reminds me of Ryan just to say and y'all know that we broke up. I still read his blog and saw where he spoke about it. Were still on speaking terms and everything and if he ever needed any help with anything he knows he can call me. I am happy hes found him another guy he sounds happy and that's whats important. Since I brought up guys I'll just say I haven't found me another. Haven't really been looking either,if I happen to run into one so to speak that would be cool but for now its just me and my hands hehe. I wont say I haven't met any cute guys I have and actually hes gonna be moving in and sharing my apartment once school is out. Theres nothing between us he just wanted to stay near school for the summer. His family life is fucked up so I can relate to that. He'll be helping pay rent and bills so that will be a bit of a load off me. Well I reckon that's about it.I promise Ill try to not let another month pass before I post:)

Just Thinkin

2008-04-02T18:29:00.004-04:00

That Frank, he lives inside of his own heart. That's an awful big place to live in.

That line comes from the movie Slingblade that came out back in 1996. Since I never went to a movie theater until I was 18 I saw it when it come out on DVD a few years later. I was 12 I think when I seen it. I believe its my favorite movie ever. When Carl said that line to Vaughn it was just like he was talking about me. Its hard to explain what Karl means when he says that but that's how I felt back then and sad to say I still do. Frank didn't have a father but his mom had a boyfriend who beat her and stayed drunk all the time. I had a "father" that was the same way. Only thing is I didn't have a guy like Karl around with a lawn mower blade to take care of my problem for me.

I reckon you noticed I been a way for a while. Things were just piling up in my head and getting to be to much. Two crazy people living together aint easy to deal with especially if your one of them.

My Valentine

2008-02-13T13:33:00.005-05:00

I want everybody to pretend this was posted last nite cause thats when I wrote it and was about ready to post and my damn internet went out. Speaking of internet if your thinking of getting Suddenlink cable please dont cause there a friggin joke. Happy Valentines Ryan love my little puppy:)

Im not good with all the mushy love stuff thats Ryans department but I want to wish my favorite boy Ryan a Happy Valetines Day and tell him his present is ready and waiting for him to come home. Im glad his mom is with him visiting cause shes making sure hes getting his rest and taking his medicine.

Now I want to tell you about my present Ryan got me. My uncles came for a visit earlier and dropped off the cutest little puppy to me. He said it was Ryans present and he had him holding it and wanted him to bring it by. She is so friggin cute. He knew I was thinking of getting me a dog but he never said a word about getting it for me so I am completely surprised. Its a little girl puppy and she is a dachshund chihuahua so shes a half breed but I love her anyway:) Ive been thinking of a name and Valentine was in my head and call her Val but I was also thinking that if any of yall had a better name please tell me and if I like it I may use it.

Go Kasey

2008-02-09T07:07:00.000-05:00

Since Ryan made a post supporting his favorite driver Reed I thought it was only right I do the same for my driver Kasey Kahne. I would love to see Reed win a few races this year and he's a really cool guy and all but still I got to root for my boy Kasey. Besides being the cutest and hottest of the drivers he's also one of the nicest. He's got a new sponser this year,Budweiser and I think hes going to do really good. Its sucks I wont be going to the races with Ryan and Cole but I just couldn't get off work and besides I cant afford to be missing work so its for the best. School wasnt going to be a problem since I was going to keep caught up with notes from a girl in class Im good friends with but now Ill be in class anyway. Heres some pics of Kasey and its ok for you to drool over him but if he ever goes gay back off cause hes all mine haha:)

Catching Up

2008-01-31T12:33:00.000-05:00

I just wanted to thank everyone for all the get well wishes you left here on my blog and also on Ryans as well. I'm 100 percent now thanks to my little nurse. I hate being sick but theres sure nothing wrong with being pampered and waited on haha. I did miss a couple days of classes so I am a bit behind but did get some notes from a friend so theres no need to stress cause I'll catch it all up.

As yall know Ryan has a trip planned for the Daytona 500 coming up. I sure hope I can go. Ill have to see how much class time Ill have to miss and then go from there. I told Ryan that I would hate to see him go alone down there. Hes thinking maybe Cole might want to go if I cant since he loves Nascar almost as much as Ryan and I do. We were talking and Cole had mentioned he had never been to a race so for him to get to go would be really cool.

Sorry for not posting more lately for some reason I have always hated talking or even writing about myself. Ryan posts enough for the both of us anyway I think haha. That boys always got something to say about anything. I was looking on a old disk of pics I had and found these 2 pics I took about 3 years ago I think. I thought they were really cool and wanted to share.

Moving Soon

2008-01-15T19:32:00.000-05:00

School started back yesterday so I am excited about that. I kinda missed it over the break so I was looking forward to going back crazy as that sounds. Ryan mentioned on his blog he was going to look at another apartment here in town. Well he liked what he saw so we will be moving in this weekend. I haven't seen it yet but I'm sure if it passed his inspection its a good place. He did take a few pics for me to see and it does look awesome. It beats the place were in now for sure. Its got a huge living room and a really nice kitchen. 1 and a half baths and 2 bedrooms. The spare bedroom will be good for when Corey or Ryan's brother comes for a visit. I wont lie it is kind of expensive and I never would have even considered a place so nice but as long as were going in together on the rent and other bills I'm all for getting the place.

Boy I cant believe how I ever got along without my little man. He is a cuddling monster at night and I sure did miss that. That aint the only thing I missed but I wont get into all that haha.

How Bout Them 'Eers

2008-01-04T14:36:00.000-05:00

Wow I cant believe what a great time I had at the game and to top it off we won. Everybody all over the sports shows never give us a chance but we showed them. We stayed at a real nice hotel close to the stadium and there was all kind of really good places to eat. One really funny thing happened at the hotel these 2 girls just kept flirting with me and Ryan and wouldn't really leave us alone. I had to finally tell them we were gay. One of them says how about you let us watch you two make out. I was like are you serious and she said hell yeah you two are really hot and we would love to see you get naked and do it. It was nice of them to think were cute and all but no way in hell am I getting naked in front of anybody especially two girls. Of course Ryan's crazy ass was going to do it if I was up for it but no thank you.

Its hard to believe we come from such warm weather and it was 7 degrees here this morning. This morning I woke up with a body blanket on me Ryan hates the cold weather. I reckon I got me a roommate for the time being anyway cause hes in no hurry to go back and you no I'm not rushing him so were just taking it as it comes. We've talked about him staying here and we also talked about me moving back to Florida so who knows what will end up happening.

Back To Nature

2007-12-27T11:46:00.000-05:00

I just cant believe what a great Christmas Ive had. What with Ryan coming up here and everything. We've had a great time here mostly been by ourselves so yeah for that. Christmas eve we did spend at my moms. She was really surprised with her coat. Hers was really old and she don't think about stuff like that. She would just wear the same old one forever and be happy with it. But Ryan asked me what I thought she needed and first thing come to mind was the coat. It did cost a bit more than I had planned on but that's why we went halfs on it. It was really Ryan's idea to go half on it he expected me to say something about the price so he beat me to the punch the little brat.I got Ryan some jeans and a few shirts. Oh and I cant forget the sexy underwear to bad he ain't had a chance to wear it yet haha. Ryan got me some jeans and a cologne he wears that I love the smell of. He also knows how I love my West Virginia Mountaineer football team,don't even get me started on their last game with Pitt where they had a chance to go to the championship game if they beat Pitt but they choked oh well it happens. Anyway they do get to go to the Fiesta Bowl in Glendale Arizona so Ryan surprised me with tickets to the game. You know me the cash register is ringing in my head and its to much so we compromise and I'm going to buy my own plane ticket and hes getting the hotel bill and extras if they ain't to much. Ive just decided to look at this whole money no money thing and take it in stride. I do have to laugh at him sometimes he gets so aggravated at me but hes learning to compromise and I cant help but love him for that.

This morning we went up in the mountains riding around and Ryan found a nice flat spot up on top the mountain he just loved. He talked me into going camping in the middle of winter no less. Its been in the 50's here during the day so its not to bad yet. Were going to borrow my uncles camper and his lanterns and stoves and do the camping thing tomorrow night I think. Maybe stay one night or two who knows. The game in Arizona is January 2 so we have to be back in time for that. Well thats about it me and my shadow are off to get some lunch.

I'm Back Finally

2007-12-22T12:35:00.000-05:00

Hey everybody yes I am finally back online. I never knew I would miss not having a computer so much but I did. A cute little elf brought me a early Christmas present yesterday. Yes Ed it took me a little while but I did find all the right holes and make the proper connections hehe. Of course y'all know by now Ryan is spending Christmas here with me. Sure am glad I didn't move out of my apartment yet. Rent was paid till the end of the month but I may just keep it now. I want to thank everyone for the comments on my misfortune of my apartment being broken into. A town of 3000 people you would think it wouldn't happen but just goes to show your not safe anywhere. I don't think it was Josh I seen a couple comments that maybe that's what people were thinking but I just don't think hes the type of guy to do that. Ive did a lot of thinking about me and Ryan over the past months since we been apart. The whole thing I have about money and not liking it been spent on me is something I have thought a lot about. Really it just comes down to the simple fact Ryan and his family have money and if I love him enough I will accept him with or without the money. I do love him so I'm going to accept it. Sure it will take time and I'm sure we will have arguments over him wanting to spend money on me but we will work through them. One thing I know he is not buying my love as someone said to me recently. Anyway that's about it I reckon. Ryan and me are going to go to my moms and hang out there a while then go to the mall and do a little shopping. Its funny Ryan cant believe we have to drive 30 miles to get to a mall. Ill leave yall with this pic I found this morning. Speaking of omg did I ever miss my porn on the internet haha. Hope this pic ain't to naughty for everyone. All the guys doing is sitting on the other guys lap hehe

Just Me Updating

2007-12-14T19:13:00.000-05:00

Haven't really felt like blogging lately what with school and working nites seems like all I been doing is either asleep school or work. Luckily its winter break at school so I'm catching up on my sleep now. First semester of school went real good. To be honest it was easier than I had imagined it was gonna be. I had worked it up in my head that it was going to be hard and I was to old to be starting school again but that's just me seeing the negative side of everything as usual. Anyway that's all I had to say but I do want to leave you with this video. For some reason it just reminds me of someone

Cool Pic

2007-12-03T14:48:00.000-05:00

I found this really cool pic online that someone had taken of my town. Their up on the mountain looking down across the river. The big buildings you see at the top is the school I go to. The white one in the middle is the athletic center. I just thought it looked cool and wanted to share. I wish it was bigger but I could say that about a lot of things haha

Just One Reason Why I Think I'm Crazy

2007-12-01T11:38:00.000-05:00

A few of you know this about me but most don't. You may wonder why I'm writing about it. Well usually I just accept it and don't really think about it much. Thats not to say I havn't thought about it a lot in the past just not so much anymore. If your wondering I hate to talk on the phone. Let me repharase that I am scared to death to talk on the phone. Now you know how crazy I am haha. Most people my family or friends know this about me so they just accept it and don't call or if they do I know its an emergency. Trust me when I say I have thought about this long and hard why Im this way about the phone. Im no shrink but I come up with 2 reasons that may have caused it and both make sense. First reason is when I was little we had a phone but it was drilled into the kids that your not to use it only in case of emergencies. I dont know who know this or not but my "father" was a drunken asshole. Ive written about it before on another blog but never on this one. Anyway Ive been whipped more than a few times when I was little for using the phone for what he thought was a stupid reason. So if your whipped enough you eventually learn not to touch the phone. I know someone may comment and say Mike your 22 years old its time to grow up and act like a man. Well yeah I know that and dont think Ive not tried to beat this problem and maybe someday soon I will. Okay heres my 2nd reason why maybe Im scared to talk on the phone. Only my family and certain other people know this but I have a stuttering problem. Not so bad now but when I was younger it was real bad. And you know kids how mean they can be when they see a defect in someone. So you get made fun of at school and around and you learn not to talk so much. I have the stuttering whipped now to where I only do it at the beginning of sentences but still I'm self consious about doing it and thats why I think I dont use the phone much. Like if its my family or friends I'll talk on the phone cause they know I stutter but if it rings and I dont reconize the number I wont answer. Also I never start a call I will never call anyone. They always have to call me. Anyway thats one reason why I think Im crazy. Dont even get me started about me not liking pics of me being taken thats a whole nother can of worms.

In My Game 1 Strike And Your Out

2007-11-27T08:10:00.000-05:00

Its really weird how thing work out in life. In a previous post I had asked about you wife or husband or boy friend hitting you and how many times was OK before you left them. Little did I know but it turns out I was asking for advice for myself. Honestly I wasn't though cause "Josh" had never hit me before and I was looking for advice for a friend. Oh sure there was the I'm sorry I did that but you just made me so mad sob story. So that's the reason he went to his parents by himself for Thanksgiving. He came back Sunday and yes his shit was packed and waiting by the door for him. In baseball you may get 3 strikes but this is real life not a game. In my version of the game your allowed 1 strike and your out the door. It's really funny now that I think about it. You never really know how good you use to have it until its not there anymore. Someone spending to much money on you seems trivial to getting hit.

Good Time For A Recess

2007-11-20T12:53:00.000-05:00

Well I'm not going "Josh's" parents house after all for Thanksgiving. We had a bit of a fight over something that happened on the Internet I don't want to say just what right now maybe later. He went to his parents Monday and will be up there while school is in recess which is until next Monday. Maybe I'll have a roommate maybe I wont. Who knows right now

Thanksgiving Trip

2007-11-14T12:03:00.000-05:00

I think I know now how nervous "Josh" was when he was about to meet my mom. Only thing is he had one day to be nervous. Were going to his parents house for Thanksgiving and I have a whole week to think about it. I am sure I wont have any fingernails left by next Wednesday. Were suppose to go up Wednesday afternoon and stay the night which I think may be an interesting situation. He says were sleeping in the same bed but I would rather not make any waves so I told him separate rooms is fine with me. I wasn't even going to go but my sister is coming in from Florida so she'll be there with my mom. We don't get along anyway so I was actually glad the trip came up.

Just Thinking

2007-11-08T06:45:00.000-05:00

The last few days I have been thinking about something and wanted to get some other opinions on it if y'all don't mind. Its about abuse between 2 people either your spouse or boy friend or girlfriend or family. The reason I ask is I have this friend and he recently broke up with his boyfriend. Well his ex-boyfriend has suddenly turned up and they are getting back together or so it seems. You may have guessed already but yes this ex use to hit my friend and I don't mean in a playing around way either. Like smack in the mouth punch in the stomach kind of hit. I was just curious how many times is it ok for one person to hit another. How many times before you leave him and what would make you go back to him. I know my opinion on it and once is to many times. I have been there done that. It wasn't a boyfriend hitting me but it was my "father" and I couldn't really get away from that so I took it. Now that I am an adult there is no way in hell I would let someone hit on me. Once would be enough and I would be out the door. So I was just thinking what everyone else's view on the subject is.

Stuck Up

2007-11-05T14:56:00.000-05:00

I had planned to take more pics than I did but it didnt work out. I did take a few before I became pissed off and said the hell with it. The reason I was pissed off is when we was up in the woods I got my truck stuck in a huge mudhole and me and "Josh" had to walk about 2 miles to my uncles house. He drove us back up to the truck and hooked to it with a chain and pulled us out. So I only took a few pics and only one of them is up in the woods. The first pic of the creek is in the woods and the other 2 is just taken along side the road.

That Wasn't Bad At All

2007-11-03T12:13:00.000-04:00

Well I reckon it was just me thinking about all the negative stuff that could have happened at dinner last night. It was just the opposite my mom couldn't have been nicer to "Josh" she thought he was really sweet. So I guess its a good thing that my post is so short cause I don't have anything bad to say about last night. Heck we even got to bring the leftovers home with us. Nothing better than a meatloaf sandwich the next day.

Me and "Josh" are gonna be going in the woods later today. We both love getting out and riding the muddy trails. I'm taking my camera and if I see anything pretty Ill take a pic of it.

Guess Who's Coming To Dinner

2007-11-02T05:56:00.000-04:00

Well I should have an interesting evening tonight. My mom called yesterday and invited me and "Josh" over to dinner tonight. She said she was making one of my favorite meals to make sure I accepted. If you was wondering its meatloaf,mash potatoes,green beans and corn and homemade rolls. Anyway I felt kinda bad that she thought she would have to fix a special meal for me to come see her. I know we live in the same town and I do call her almost everyday or she calls me. Its just that between working nights and getting a few hours sleep during the day then going to classes its just hard to make the time. I'm gonna have to start making a better effort to go see more at least twice a week. I said before it should be interesting because "Josh" and my mom have never met. He's not from around here originally and she knows most everybody in town. She has asked several times before has she seen him around town and didn't even know it was him so I know she wants to see him. Its not that I don't think she will be nice to him cause I know she will its just that I got a nervous feeling about it.

Hey Porter

2007-10-30T11:34:00.000-04:00

Did anyone realize that Porter Wagoner died over the weekend. Im sure not everyone who reads here is a country music fan so you may not known. I wouldn't be surprised if anyone knew really cause I didn't see it anywhere on tv and just a little story about it on the internet. To me thats sad the guy was 80 years old and spent 60 plus years making great country music and I didn't hear one word on CMT about it. Maybe the did mention it but I didn't see it. CMT'S to busy kissing Kenny Chesney and Tim McGraw and Faith Hills asses to notice when a real country star dies. Another thing pisses me off is I was reading he wasn't inducted into the Country Music Hall of Fame until 2002 to me thats bullshit to wait till the man is 75 to do that. Anyway he had put out a new cd of all new songs just this year and was on tour promoting it when he found out he had lung cancer and passed away.

Boring Saturday

2007-10-27T11:01:00.000-04:00

Not much going on with me today. "Josh" has an away game over in Kentucky I started to go but me following him to to many away games kind of looks suspicous so I stayed home. He'll be back later tonight probably dead tired and just drop off to sleep soon as he hits the bed. I was out earlier this morning and took a few pics of the town cause like I said Im bored.

This is a pic of a mural someones been painting under our bridge.

Suck It Up!!!

2007-10-23T14:11:00.000-04:00

Well my weekend pretty much sucked big time. It consisted of me looking after a sick boyfriend and being pissed at some of his teammates. Not that I minded at all taking care of "Josh" but it was some of the guys on his team who pissed me off to no end. So "Josh" has being getting a lot more playing time because one of the starting wide receivers got hurt. If you follow football you know how hard it is for freshman to get any playing time. So hes been really excited the last 2 weeks to be playing a lot more. Hes been catching a lot of passes and even scored a touchdown which was his first for the team. So he's got something the flu or whatever but hes throwing up since Friday evening. He had called his coach and told him how bad he felt and didn't know if he'd be able to play Saturday. The coach seemed ok with it but like 2 hours later here comes 3 of his teammates over to the apartment. Their trying to lay a big guilt trip on him about sucking it up for the team and all that shit. I think they almost had him talked into playing but I cut them off and told them it was getting late they was keeping him from getting his rest if he was going to play. It was all I could do to keep from calling them selfish bastards and some other choice words. But I didn't want to sound to against him playing all one would had to say was who are you his boyfriend or something and I'd said fuck yeah and whats it to you. It was handled ok I reckon and they left without saying anything. He called his coach again and was talking to him about playing and the coach said he didn't want him playing if he was that sick so in the end it was the coach saying he wasn't going to play not "Josh". So that kept the players happy and Josh is feeling much better today he even went to class this morning so hes over it I reckon.

Hey You Looking At Me!!!

2007-10-19T12:43:00.000-04:00

It felt odd coming back to my town after being away as long as I was. I had only told 2 people I was gay before I left my mom and my favorite uncle. But it seemed like when I come home people on the streets were staring a whispering. I'm sure it was me just being paranoid. I did talk to my mom and uncle and asked if they had told anyone else my little secret. I knew my mom hadn't she wouldn't even know how to bring in up in conversation to someone. My uncle told me that he had told his 2 sons their guys around my same age. We've always been really close I think of them as brothers more than cousins. I spoke to them and they said they had an idea I was gay for a long time but it was cool with them so I knew they would never mention it to anybody. So the stares and whispers are just in my head.

Its kind of funny how "Josh" came to be my roommate. He had overheard my telling a teacher how I'd like to find me a roommate and butted in and said he'd be willing to go see my place and maybe be my roommate. I was leery of him at first cause I knew he was on the football team from the guys he was hanging with. If he did come live with me and he found out I was gay it would be like 10 minutes before the whole team knew. But its not like I had pics of naked guys hanging everywhere sure theres tons of porn on my computer but its in my bedroom so I thought whats the harm. So he went and looked at my place and liked it so he was in.

First thought living with a cute guy is normally or it is to me anyway is I'd love to see him naked. I asked him how he was about seeing other guys nude and he says he sees them all the time in the locker room and didn't have a problem with it. To get to the bathroom you have to walk through my bedroom so hes walking through to the shower on several occasions and I'm looking of course. I will say he has a very cute butt and the other parts look good as well. But anyway something happened one night that made me think this dude is gay. He sleeps in the living room on one of those couches that turn into a bed. Late one night hes coming through my room to go to the bathroom. He thinks I'm asleep and I see him stop at the bottom of my bed and stand there for several minutes. So I continue to act like I'm asleep. Ive got the covers off me cause its hot and sleeping in boxers. I'm semi-hard and I reckon he sees it and all the sudden I feel him lightly touching it. He did it just for a second but it was enough to make me think he may be gay.

Now hes got me curious about him so I'm thinking I'm going to have to be sneaking and bring up the subject of being gay. I love watching the show survivor on Thursday nights and theres a gay guy on it. "Josh" watches it to so one night when its on I start asking questions. I said I wonder if any of the other guys on the show are gay. He says he thinks one of them is. I forget his name but he use to be a model and got kicked off cause he was bossy. I said how do you know hes gay and he says he can tell just by the way he acts and his voice. I said oh really and didn't say much else about it. When the show went off I said do you think I sound or act gay and he said no and wanted to know if people had said I do in the past. Then I sat there for about 5 minutes and I'm thinking what the hell I'll just tell him and if he freaks out ill bring up him rubbing my cock a few nights ago. So I say well it may come as a shock to you but I'm gay. He didn't say anything then I said I was scared to tell you cause you might s[read it around your team. He said that would be mean and he'd never do anything like that. I asked him if it bothered him that I was gay and if he wanted to move out I'd understand. He said he had no problem with it and was happy living with me. I decided not to bring up him touching me I figured if he wanted me to know he was gay he'd tell me in his own time. So about a week passes and were sitting watching TV and he just out of the blue just blurts out he was gay. He said it was the first time he had ever said it out loud and started crying. So I get up and hug him and tell him its ok hes among friends and he can be himself as much as he wants around me. I was trying to be funny so next I said by the way you owe me a feel cause I was awake the night you was touching me. He started laughing so it worked. How we became a couple it just happened slowly just sitting next to each other on the couch and I decided to kiss him and he didn't pull away. The rest I guess you can use your imagination.

Someone sent me a email and asked if I would be posting a pic of "Josh". Well that I would have to say no to. But I did ask him if it was ok if I was to send a pic of him to people I knew I could trust thru email instead of posting it on here. He said that would be ok but he wanted it to be a pic of him in his jersey. Its already on the schools website so he didnt see the harm. So if anyone was interested just email and if I know you Ill send the pic.

Cute Boys 101

2007-10-17T15:43:00.000-04:00

I was so excited about telling about me going to college I completely forgot to say what I was studying. My main study is cute boys but while in there I'm also studying history and government. Ive decided to go into the law enforcement field. Also wanted to say a little about my rehab from my accident at Ryan's. That all over and I'm as good as ill ever be i reckon. My ankle hurts a little if I'm on it much and if I go hiking in the mountains which I love to do it bothers me but I reckon its something ill just have to deal with the rest of my life. Now my roommate I mentioned in my last post. To everybody around here hes my roommate but he also happens to be my boyfriend. His name ill call him "Josh" and hes 19 and on the football team. Cute as hell but I'm prejudiced. He didn't start out as my boyfriend when he moved in but one thing led to another and well you can guess the rest. Ill talk more about him later of course.

I didn't realize i was blocking some people from commenting by not allowing anonymous comments so I fixed that. I just turned on the comment moderation so no jerks post anything.

School Rocks!!

2007-10-16T12:30:00.000-04:00

So after I broke up with Ryan Im terribly sad of course. The morning I left Ryans I had called my mom and told her I was coming back home. She didnt have much to say other than she was glad I was coming home. Even though I was going home I had made my mind up I wasnt gonna be staying long at the house. First thing I was gonna do was talk to my uncle and see if he could get my old job back. Then I was gonna find me a place of my own either apartment or house somewhere in or around my town. So I did find me a apartment its nothing great really but its not bad either. Then I had the idea of going to school. I thought why the hell not. Its right here in town close and I had looked into getting a student loan a few years back and qualified then so why not now. So I got my student loan and now Im a freshman in college. Next post Ill tell about my "roommate" that I got me.

Out Of Hiding

2007-10-15T12:29:00.000-04:00

Hey everybody yes its me out of hiding. Not that I been hiding really I just been keeping myself busy. I thought I would start another blog. I may post on it once a week or so but I do have some stuff to say about what I been up to. But I have to run off to class now. Yes thats one new thing Im a 22 year old college freshman, dont laugh.