Don't say it if you don't mean it
I'm sitting here watching the Nascar truck race on Speed and just got off the phone with Jay after having our first big argument. He gone to South Carolina for the weekend to visit his mom who he hadn't seen in a while. I have to work tomorrow or I would have went and if I had then the fight wouldn't have happened.
The fights totally my fault and I know it but still its hard to do anything about it. The whole thing is about me not saying those 3 little words, I love you when its said to me either over the phone or while he's going out the door. I knew it would eventually lead to a fight just didn't know when. At first he would just play it off and laugh about it when I would always say me too, whenever he would say it. Its funny cause its weird for me to even type the words,how crazy is that.
Anyways it got to the point where he was just saying I like you at the end of a phone call as a way to point out that he wasn't gonna say it if I wasn't going to,which didn't bother me but I did notice but never said anything. Tonight he said the words and I did my usual reply, me too. Then he says,"Look don't say it if you don't mean it" and then it was silent for like 5 seconds which seemed like a whole minute and when I didn't say anything he hung up. Must have been the shortest fight in the history of phone fights lol.
I shouldn't laugh about it cause it is a serious issue I have but I reckon its better than crying about it, or maybe it would be better to cry over it,who knows. The words were never said when I was younger in my family So me playing half ass shrink I would say that's where the whole thing stems from.
I'll have the problem the rest of my life if I don't do something about it and it will probably lead to ever relationship I have with a guy ending up with him just leaving. Now that I think back that may be the reason my relationship with Ryan ended the way it did, I'll have to do a lot more thinking on that. So will I call and say the words to Jay, I doubt it. I'm one hard headed son of a bitch. He's originally from South Carolina so maybe he had it planned to get in a phone fight with me while he was home and just stay there.
7 comments:
Me too.
But really, why not YOU be the one to break the family (non)tradition and start finding ways to say the words 'i love you?'
Why not YOU?
By shielding your emotions you are shutting loved ones out of your life, past and present.
Bare your scars and just maybe they will heal. Or is that what you are afraid of? That you might find true happiness?
Oh...Don't say that...
Honey, you have to reach in to your
heart and see if you can or can not
live without Jay in your life...If
you can live without him then don't
say those words...But if when you
think hard and long (no mind in the
gutter here)about where you want
this whole relationship to go then
you have to bend some and say those
three little words...
And like Jimm says...Why not YOU
break that 'family' thing and
say them...You may be surprised
at how much better things will
be after...
HUGS!!!
Laurie
First, it's good to have you back here posting!
I believe, your not saying these three words doesn't mean that you don't love him. If this would be the case, he had left you long ago. And Ryan, as emotionally sensitive as he is, would not have been together with you so long. So there must be a great amount of love inside you!
Maybe it's not about these exact words, but verbally expressing your feelings for him. One way could be to tell him, how much you care for him in relation to other people.
I'm not good at saying those 3 words. Luckily, my Toño came up with a (secret) hand sign that means nothing to anyone else but for us, it represents those 3 words. It cannot be used over the phone, but in the morning when saying goodbye and in public places. It helped to get me used to say the words too.
I hope you can find a way too.
I honestly feel you should get some professional help. You have dealt with so much in your life, you can't hold onto all the bad things that have happened forever. You need to learn to let go. Don't talk with friends or family, talk with a licensed therapist. It really works.
Don't do it for anyone else, do it for yourself. It works.
Mike, it is not your fault. You are not to blame. You will feel so much better about life and yourself when you can let go and move on. Please talk with someone.
Hmm... I don't know what to say about this one. Words for me are just words, I am more of an action person. I know when someone is in love with me. I can feel it and vice versa.
Sweatheart you just have to think more on this. I personally think you just need to not be so shielded. Theres nothing wrong with getting hurt in relationships, it happens. And we are still young, dumb, and full of cum! lol.
Just live life in stride and try not to grow up to fast. Live your life the way you want it. And if you love him (because their are other ways of expressing love).
Good point would be your ex, ryan. I know he may bite my head off or something for me saying this but you 2 were in love. I may have never met you 2 in person but I know. Intuition comes in many shapes n forms.
Just keep your head up high and your heart open and you will find your answer. Stay safe beautiful.
Sometimes it can be hard to say I love you to someone. I don't know what to say about what your going through but keep your head up high mikey. If you feel that it is something that is hindering you then maybe you should try saying those 3 words.
Ive got lots of love in my heart for those who are close to me and then some. Some of us are differnt in life and how we walk the long road doesn't always lead us where we want to go. If you truely believe that you cant say it then maybe you should atleast try it.
Theres no harm in trying. Life is 2 short mikey ^_^. Live Life N Love Strong, even if you can't say those 3 lil words.
Love ya beautiful man
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