A Lot to Say and Can't Get it Out
Guys I'm sorry for not getting on here sooner and letting you know whats up with me. I just honestly ain't been in the mood. All my free time from school I use to try and get traffic to my other two blogs.
I'm embarrassed also to come on here and tell you this but I don't have a damn job yet down here. Well that's not true cause I had 2 and they didn't work out. I don't know if I ever mentioned it on here but I stutter and quite bad around new people which sucks cause that's all there is down here.
Anyway both the jobs were in the mall and having to talk to people, customers and whatever. I had bad feelings they wasn't going to work out from the get go. I hate to speak bad of young people but they can be smart asses. One of the jobs was in a kids store as a sales person, it lasted 2 days. A kid heard me stuttering while talking to his mom and afterwards I seen him making fun of me. I didn't say anything just tucked my tail between my legs and quit the next day.
Next one was in a cloths store it went basically the same way except the smart ass was a 20 year old punk and I lost my cool and shoved him and quit before I got fired.
So that's what I been up to,I'm fucking depressed as hell cause I'm down here more or less mooching off Ryan's family cause I got no more money to pay for rent or utilites. Shes offers me money I'm to ashamed to take it. I'd go back home but if I did I'd only hear I told you so's and I so had my mind set to make it down here I cant give up yet.
I'm making a little money from my 2 blogs but still cant get the traffic to them that I should. Its usually around 125 a day but they expect it to be at least 500 or more.
You may noticed I cleared all my side bars of google and amazon ads. I'm going to try a new company and see if I can make money from them. They got a lot of name brand company they sell for and some cool stuff.
I was wondering if y'all was to be interested in buying stuff, what would it be like electronics or toys or whatever. If you give me an idea maybe I can find a company and place it on the blog.
I'm going to try to start writing on here more. I know I promised before but I mean it this time. I want to try to start getting more traffic to here and a main way is to keep writing. Its just hard when your life's a fucking mess, you don't really feel like writing about it.
I'll tell ya how schools being going later. I don't want to tell everything in one post and not have anything to say later lol.
4 comments:
Oh Sweetie... :( I wish you were
here...It's hard I know...I would
give anything to take that pain
away from you...There is one boy
who studders really bad where I
work...He's a shy kid really nice
and he just doesn't talk...It hurts
me....Hurts really bad to think
that you're upset...I really do
wish you had come here though....
I worry about you all the time...
Just know that I'm here for you...
TACKLE YOU HUGS!!!!!!
Hey it's great you're in school and improving yourself. My advice on finding a job would be to pick something you enjoy, like maybe camping and outdoor activities, and put applications in stores that cater to camping like Gander Mountain, Academy or stores that sell whatever else interests you. You'd be more likely dealing with more mature customers. Your interest will show and you'll feel more confident.
You know you must refrain from getting physical. On the first job I'm not sure why you quit. I'm an employer and sometimes I see qualities in someone I hire, but if they quit before they have a chance prove themselves I'd never find out. I would have gone to the person that hired you/supervisor (at the first job), explain what just happened, tell them if you think you did not handle it right and ask their advice for handling a similar situation in the future. If your supervisor takes you seriously, gives you some helpful advice, and supports you you will begin to gain the confidence to handle various situations in the future.
I know you can do it. Try not to be depressed...focus on what's good like your ongoing education leaving your comfort zone of home an working towards making a new life for yourself in Atlanta.
Finally, when help is offered from people like Ryan's family accept it with the understanding that you'll either pay it back someday or help others in the future if they say no way to the pay back. Also, I think you already help them out on the property, so keep asking if there is anything you can do. Sometimes the help you give others may be more valuable to you then you think it's worth, and sometimes others that help you are just making up for people who helped them in your past.
Stay positive...You sound like a really great and sincere guy.
wow I didn't know you had a bad stuttering problem. I like you have had a bad studdering problem ever since I was young. So I definitely understand where your coming from. Myself I had the same problem and I was chunky and also gay (didn't know it till i was 12) and that combination was tough on me. I just think you should be upfront about your feelings more and if someone does something to or laughs at you just forget about or confront them straight forward and no cussing. And I like you have been trying to find a job for years but people turn me down, why I don't know. But like Devil said, pick something you enjoy. Also never let people get under your skin. At the end of the day talk to someone and let your feelings be heard because bottling it up will just get you even more depressed, I should know. Anyway if you need a job maybe I could help. And mister you need to shove that pride away because getting help from someone is not mooching or charity its from people who love you. WE should definitely talk either online or off, its up to you.
Take care of your self my little soldier.
Love, Peace, and many hugs,
Your lil angel
Oh mike, it's never easy to start fresh, I had a ton of set backs, had to borrow 1500 bucks from my uncle, lived on 8 dollars a week and had to drop out of school. I was a royal mess before I start working steady like, and went thru 5 jobs before finding a good match. Acknowledge your limitations, don't pick jobs that will bring out your stuttering, I have a customer that stutters quite horribly but thru email you'd never know. His bosses love him and even let him retake a pee test just to make sure he kept his job. Don't give up and don't be to proud to ask for help. focus on the long term and ignore the daily setbacks.
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