It's In The Genes
Heres it been almost another month gone before a post from me lol. Really nothing going on with me other than working a fishin a little bit. Schools been out since the second week in May so thats good, To be honest I was getting tired of it. To say Im tired of it may be wrong. I just been depressed and sad a lot lately maybe thats it. One big reason is I miss Ryan and yes I know its over but still that dont keep me from missing him. Another thing is I dont think Im a very good friend. Like I had this one friend and true we didnt communicate much and it was only thru emails but one day I emailed him and he never wrote back so I sent another email ask if he was mad at me. He said no hes just been real busy. So I wrote back ok I wont bother you anymore. He never wrote back and I treid again and still nothing so I dont know. All I know is its sad to lose a friend. I know Im not a good friend,hell I got several emails from guys right now I need to answer its just Im to fucked up to do it.
The guy who was gonna move in when school let out finally got all moved in. Yes he started out just as a roommate but you know how things go cute guy and all alone in the apartment and me sad as fuck so yeah it happened hehe.
Im embarrased as fuck to even say it but I have started drinking. I dont know if its a problem yet anyway but with my dna,genes or whatever however you say it Im sure it will be. Me drinking makes me sad but yet I do it when Im sad how fucked up is that. Ill probably turn into a raging alcoholic drunk like my "father" and brother. Kinda ironic if I would end up like my "father" seeing as how I hateed his guts when he was alive and I end up just like him.
13 comments:
Mikey! YOU NEED TO BE SPANKED!
Please, don't drink! I wish I was
there to help you. I know that I
may not be much but, I do care a
TON about you.
Just know that I'm here and you
will ALWAYS have and ear or eyes
that will listen to you when you
need.
I LOVES YOU TONS!!!!
HUGS!!
XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO!
You really know better than to start drinking. There is something going on that you need to deal with. Only you know what it is.
Mikey, drinking does not solve the problem , just masks it for a while. You are not ur father, ur a fine young man, just a little lonely. Give someone a call, I am sure they will be glad to hear from you. I know I would. Love ya!
if you follow a path knowing it's destination than you are responsible. I think what concerned me most was your fooling around with your room mate, still i wish you the best and know I've done worse but next time try to remember that there is no where to go when or if you fight.
Hope your summer is fun though, i'm not trying to be a wet blanket. It's getting hot down here and the tornado season is crazy this year we've already had over 900 touch down.
Hey Mikey,
Even if it's in your genes, remember you still have control over it. You need to get over your depression. It's just all about depression and you need to deal with it. It might be difficult but you know what, I think you shold call Ryan from time to time. It might help with the missing him part. Go out more. Try to do something to keep your mind off. Spend time with your mom, have a holiday. Look, I know you are stronger than this, so be strong.
jc
Hey man, as far as relationships go, most ppl arent very good at saying goodbye.
I remember drinking tons when my best friend killed himself. It went on for almost a year afore I came to my senses. Why was I so determined to walk such a destructive path?
You can beat this if ya want, but first ya gotta want to.
Dont be so hard on yerself. Nobody's perfect. Not even me, but of course i'll never admit it in person. hehe!
I have DNA that makes me an alcoholic too. Yes, I gave into it and it almost killed me. It ruined my life. I drove the worng way down a one way street. I got arrested for public intoxication. Most of all I lost my true friends. Mikey, I know you can eat this. You can e-mail me anytime. I have not had a drink in over ten years now. One day at a time, my friend. Ed
should read "I know you can Beat this!" Sorry, Ed
your not ending up like your dad anyway, your not beating anyone, your taking care of yourself and your getting an education!
dude ur just goin thru a ruff time so just chill! an like laurie said u need to be spanked & i voluteer to do the spankin but i'd make sure to kiss it real good then um, well u know.... ;)
matty & the boyz
Dear Mikey--If you aren't already doing so, please get some professional help. Depression is nothing to mess with, and the drinking is a sign that you just can't ignore.
I don't know how you feel about counseling, but maybe you need someone objective to help you get thru your breakup with Ryan.
You have had some huge changes in your life in the past 18 months or so, with major medical issues and relocations, all tied up with Ryan,and it sounds like it's all catching up with you.
I'm sorry if I sound like an armchair shrink, or trying to tell you your business. I'm just a longtime blog friend and supporter of you and Ryan, and also someone who has battled depression for many years.
I want you to feel better, and have a wonderful, bright future!
Sending you big hugs...
I don't know how I know this from your infrequent posting ;) , but I think you have a good heart and soul. You're not your Dad. Some counceling might help...I hope you check with your school to see if any is available there. Also, try to do something to help someone who is worse off than you. It's a good thing to do and usually makes you feel better about your self.
Keep us posted.
I miss hearing from you Mikey. I lost my BFF and am all alone now. My car is 20 years old and spends more time in the shop than on the road. I am feeling very worthless now. I hope you have found some happiness. Ed
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