Catching Up
Hey everybody yes I'm still alive and kickin. I know y'all worry about me and I do appreciate it a lot. Also wanted to thank everyone for the emails they sent. I know I should answer y'all back when you say if I ever want to talk your there to listen but I hate like hell talking about myself and I hate even more discussing my feelings. What am I feeling? Why do I feel that way? Hell I don't know either answer. All I can figure is its caused by how I was raised. You wasn't allowed to speak unless you was spoken to and if you tried you was shut off real quick. I don't blame my mom cause she was did the same way by my "father" oh but he always had plenty to say and if you didn't listen you caught hell big time. Of course I been thinking about him a lot lately with me being drinking the way I have. I want to tell a little story about him so you know the kind of guy he was. What reminds me of this story is my little doggie I got now. I was about 13 or 14 and this stray dog had been hanging around the neighborhood for about a week. It was a real pretty blue tick coon hound if anybody knows what that is they are beautiful dogs. I think he had got lost on a coon hunt or something anyway I had said I'd love to have him for my own. So one day I come home from school and was shocked by what I found in the house. My "father" had caught that dog and did what he called later marking him FOR ME so no one could reclaim him from me. How did he mark him? He took a razor blade and cut a one inch nick out of that dogs beautiful ear. There was blood all over the house the dog hiding under the bed scared to death. Him laying on the couch passed out drunk. No need to say I was so pissed off I started crying I grabbed a crutch that was leaning in the corner and broke it on the back of his head while he was passed out. Unfortunately it didn't kill him and I did get the hell beat out of me the next day after he came to but it felt good doing it. I did manage to get the dog out from under the bed and patch his ear up. He ended up staying at my uncles house and was there long after my sorrow ass "father" ended up being worm food. Omg was my uncle pissed when he found out what he had done. If I hadn't hit him with the crutch I think they would have fought but he said he got what he deserved so fuck him. So that's my story comes to mind cause of my little doggie. Just what use to be another fun day in the Pierce house. Don't know why I told that other than just getting it off my mind.
On another subject my uncle has threatened to kick my ass if I don't stop drinking. So its been a week now and I haven't touched anything stronger than pop. I hate that I'm trying to talk myself out of not going back to school in fall. I know its for the best but I got a little devil on my shoulder saying fuck it. I ain't give into him yet though lol. Wow what a long post for me I'm wore out and need a nap.
Oh had to come back and add this. I know nobody likes Nascar but me but what about my boy Kasey Kahne. Won a million dollars in a race and has won the last 2 out of 3 races run. Pretty cool and needless to say I'm thrilled for him,even enough to post a pic of him.
11 comments:
Mike it is OK to talk with someone about how you feel. I can't recall how many therapist I have seen. It really helps. The nice thing about a therapist is they can't talk about what you tell them...unless you say you are going to hurt yourself and then you are going to get a ride to a hospital.
Mike, try it...it really helps to talk with someone outside of family and friends that is trained to help you get back on track.
Mikey,
Just like Carl says. It's OK
in fact, it's a good thing to talk
to someone about what you're
feeling. You will always have
friends to turn to. We will NEVER
turn our backs. But Honey, we
can't help you if you don't pick
up that phone or answer that
e-mail. It's alright to IM me.
I know what it's like to live
with a drinker. I also know what
it's like to be one.
Let us help you. You are such
a BEAUTIFUL man and if something
happened to you the world would
lose someone special.
HUGS!!!!!
XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO!!!!!
Mike, I'd like to talk to you sometime.
Now didn't that feel good to get off your chest?
And don't waste your life drinking. It's not worth it. Trust me.
Luckily, your uncle threatened to kick your ass for drinking. I promise you the same treatment to your buttocks if you will not go back to school in fall.
I know what a blue tick hound is. It has bluish spots all over that are about the size of a tick. They are great dogs. I love to hear them howl.
I'm very glad you're still alive and kickin'. We have a problem with Alcohol, you and me. We can't drink even one shot or we start wanting a lot more of it. Don't think of how long it's been since you had a drink but how long it's been since you've been sober.
I got beat a lot growing up but I never hit my Dad or he would have killed me. My Mom always said she wished I had died or she had got rid of me if she had known I was going to grow up to be a queer.
No matter how hard they hit they couldn't beat the evil faggot genes out of me. I have curvature of the spine from being beaten so much. We have a lot in common so keep blogging every once in a while so I can see that you are clean and sober. Even if you fall of the wagon I still want to be a friend. Ed
P.S. Kasey Kahne may be cute but Matt Kenseth is THE NASCAR driver. Follow him to victory! haha. Ed
I'm so glad you aren't drinking, Mike. One day at a time. I know it sounds corny, but it is really true and important.
I really hope you continue on a positive path---talking out your troubles, staying sober, and staying in school.
LOTS of us are pulling for you!!!!
You deserve to be happy!
Big hugs to you and the puppy...
well sounds like your Uncle is watching out for you, it's not that drinking can't be fun it's just not a good thing for everyone.
Glad your posting a bit, it does help to get things off your chest. Hope your puppy is doing well you should post a pic of it!
oh it's not that we don't think that nascar is cool, we just like righthand turns!!
Mike,
You probably don't remember me, but I had a Blog on Blogger in 2004 and early 2005 called "The Cell in Arkansas" or something like that. I read both your and Ryan's Blogs all of the time!
I moved to MySpace and Facebook later in 2005 (my bad).
Anyway, I think of you both from time to time (I still remember when Ryan was assaulted! It made me so mad!), and I know that you two were together, and it made me happy for you both.
I decided to search for you both again and have discovered that you are no longer together.
I really hope that you find your particular happiness in life. That would put a smile on my face. :)
If you ever wish to talk, please send an e-mail or you can catch me on MySpace at www.myspace.com/trustingyourfate
God bless,
Jesse Gonzalez
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