Just Thinking
The last few days I have been thinking about something and wanted to get some other opinions on it if y'all don't mind. Its about abuse between 2 people either your spouse or boy friend or girlfriend or family. The reason I ask is I have this friend and he recently broke up with his boyfriend. Well his ex-boyfriend has suddenly turned up and they are getting back together or so it seems. You may have guessed already but yes this ex use to hit my friend and I don't mean in a playing around way either. Like smack in the mouth punch in the stomach kind of hit. I was just curious how many times is it ok for one person to hit another. How many times before you leave him and what would make you go back to him. I know my opinion on it and once is to many times. I have been there done that. It wasn't a boyfriend hitting me but it was my "father" and I couldn't really get away from that so I took it. Now that I am an adult there is no way in hell I would let someone hit on me. Once would be enough and I would be out the door. So I was just thinking what everyone else's view on the subject is.
19 comments:
I agree with you. Once, and I'm outa there. Abusers seldom change.
Luckily, I never had to experience anything like that (besides of some moderate and probably deserved corporal punishment as a boy). But I would agree with you, that being once exposed to brute aggression, is once more than absolutely necessary. However, humans somehow don't seem to act rational in relations.
The guy is probably hoping his ex has changed. I doubt if he has. I saw a movie where one guy ordered the other guy around and treated him like shit. The guy put up with it a very long time. It seems those bullies always gravatate to people who have no respect for themselves. Nobody deserves to be treated like shit.
This a tough one. I've found (from past experience unfortunately) that's it's easy to say "I wouldn't take that" or "One time and i'm gone" but there are so many emotional and psychological factors involved. When I was young and naive, I took it. Now that i'm older and stronger emotionally and hopefully alot wiser. It happened once before I was married to him and never since. I hope it doesn't happen to your friend again. Hugs Mikey!
You are right, Mike, once is too many and more is unacceptable. Unfortunately the psychological problems many gay men have due to the hate and repression we grew up with caused them to accept this as their due for being gay. Sad but all too common in our community. Urge your friend to get some counseling and to get rid of the abuser before it is too late. Love to ya.
i agree with you mikey, once is too many...
Mike, it is never OK ever to hit. Never...most times a light hit and lead to more.
Mike, its time you guys quit playing games and sit down and talk about your relationship.
As an active reader of your blog and Ryans... Its very appearent that you guys still care alot for each other.
Time away is a good thing and always will give you insight to what you really love. He writes something then you return with something else. Much like a cat and mouse game. I really think there is a connection and a need to look at the larger picture.
Best of luck to both of you guy. True LOVE ONLY KNOCKS ONCE!
Many Hugs,
BIGBOYMARK
Mike, I couldn't help but wonder who your talking about here? I read both your blog and Ryan's also and Aaron just comes back into the picture and then you do this post. I remember Ryan's boy in Atlanta blog and remember what Aaron did. I tried to comment on Ryan's blog but he didn't let it go through. Could it be we're talking about the same thing here Mike?
Lance
once is the limit. after that you need to ask yourself why you are willing to put yourself in that position. It's hard to watch Mike, but until the person is ready to leave them and stand on their own, they will make any excuse to keep the relationship going.
You might try building up your friends self exteem and making him realize that he will not be alone if he leaves and that he is worth more than that.
Ya know, I used to get hit all the
time. I thought it was the way that
I was shown love because the ones
that hit me always said it was
because they loved me. I grew up.
Now, the next person to hit me
I will kill.
I think you both need to sit
down and talk. You know that and
I think he does too.
Loves ya!
XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO!!
BTDT, bought the t-shirt. Once is once too many, for sure.
I was never abused, by family or lovers. But I tell you what, if someone I'm dating is gonna hit me, they better make DAMN sure they knock me unconscious. Cause if not, when I pull my ass up offa the floor they WILL be unconscious. And lying on the sidewalk, along with any of thier shit they had at my place. Cause it will be over O-V-E-R, then mister!
HUGS...
sometimes words hurt more
http://JonCox.Multiply.com
Hey Buddy!
That's just horrible. Frickin~A, I say, you hit me and/or abuse me once and I'm done & not looking back at all EVER! I think it's really terrible for this person to go back to the one who adused him.:o( I love you buddy!
Take care!
~Jon~
1 time is 2 many!
What do I think? People fucking suck. Someone that you're in a relationship hits you, fuckin stab them with the closest sharp object you can find. No one deserves abuse.
mike you need to TOTALLY forget bout that looser ryan. he just sez stuff on his blog to make you feel sorry for him. you got sumbody you desrve an he dont like it so what else he gonna do but write bout stuff he know will make you upset cuz he know you still care bout him. he really is tryin to work you bad. remember it mite be the same old book but its a new chapter and you need to live in the present an look toward the future an FORGET THE PAST - it was good it was bad but it is OVER so just make MIKE happy and enjoy a great fun future that dont have sum whiney assed mama's boy in it!
matt an i luv you bro,
j
Once is once too many times. Time to pack up and go. Abusers never change.
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